I have got to re-watch those eps, soon. My muses are panting and snarling in the wings, waiting for me to do my part in this. They don't understand the role real life plays in all this. Things like jobs, family, old dogs, silly cats, and noisy parrot (the horses don't live with me, so they aren't screaming for attention, at least I can't hear them from here). So, until I can get a few uninterrupted hours with the TV and VCR, I'm trying to placate them with little short snippets. I hope it keeps them satisfied.

The disclaimers still apply. Not mine. No money. Please, don't sue.

Class Clown


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"OK, class. Thanks for coming. I'll have your scores posted by Monday, if all goes well. If there are no more questions? OK. I'll see you all on Wednesday." He started putting his things into his backpack, preparing to go back to his office, when several of his students approached. Looking up, his ready smile faltered, just a bit. "Yes?" Watching them closely. They were members of the baseball team. They needed to maintain their grades to stay eligible to play. They had missed turning in their last three assignments and failed miserably on the last two tests. Any rumors to the contrary, Anthropology 101 was not an easy, skate through, class. It hadn't been since Blair Sandburg started teaching it. Apparently, word still had not penetrated the generally thick skulls of many of the JOC, jocks on campus. These four being prime examples of the type. Funny thing was, there were three other members of the team who were doing very well. Obviously, the three doing well didn't interact very much with these four, except on the playing field.

"You sent ineligible notices out on us. We want you to take them back." The smallest one insisted. He was a good four inches taller than Blair, and outweighed him by at least fifty pounds. The others were almost as big as Blair's partner, Jim Ellison, a detective with the Cascade PD.

"Sorry, guys. You have to do the work to get the grades. You've all missed more classes than you should have. You haven't turned in assignments, and your test scores are abysmal."

He shifted back, just a little, as the four leaned towards him. "Look, teach." The spokesman snarled. "We can do this easy or hard. We don't care, but if you don't change those letters, you just might find yourself ineligible to teach, if you get my meaning." Using his greater size and their greater numbers to try and intimidate the smaller man.

Blair smiled, shaking his head in wonder. "I don't think you want to do that, man."

"Why not?" Spat out one of the bigger ones.

A soft, quiet voice came from behind them. "Because there's a law against assault and battery. There's also a law against threatening a police officer."

The four bullies stiffened in confusion. Turning as one to the voice behind them. There stood a massive black man, wearing a suit; his stance and attitude screaming 'cop'. Beside him, in her wheelchair, sat another of their classmates, looking annoyed.

"We're not threatening a cop. Just trying to reason with the teach, here." The mouthpiece for the group grumbled, withdrawing a bit from the older man.

"Sounded like threats to me." The woman murmured. Looking at Blair, with a smile, she cocked her head interrogatively. "Were you taking them as threats, Detective Sandburg?"

The four jocks seemed to shrink, just a bit. 'Detective'? Looking at each other, puzzled.

"Well, I'm not sure." Blair answered, realizing what his friends were doing. Turning his attention to his students, he cocked his head to one side and asked, "Were you threatening me?"

"Nah. Nah, teach. Just trying to reason with you." The mouthpiece tried to sound reassuring.

"Why don't I believe you?" The large 'obviously a cop' asked, shifting just a bit to put himself in a better position, in case the four decided to make real trouble.

The four jocks backed away, edging toward the door. "Look, uh, we'll talk later, teach." The spokesman said, then turned and followed his cronies out the door.

Mable burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, dear. I couldn't resist. I hope you don't mind?"

"Well, I guess not. At least not in this instance. I wonder if they really caught it, or just think that you misspoke?" Smiling at his friends. "So, what brings you down here this afternoon, Joel?"

"I'm taking my baby out for dinner. Just because." Smiling adoringly down at his wife.

"Cool. Thanks for the great timing." Smiling, partly in relief, mostly just because they were his friends. "How's your day been, Joel?"

Joel smiled. 'Translation: Is Jim all right?' "Quiet, thankfully. Nothing very big. Just a little drug bust down the street. Jim's fine. He nearly zoned, but we were right there with him and got the bad guys. Last I saw of him, he was grousing that since you got your shield, you're seldom around to actually do any of the paperwork." Grinning.

Blair laughed. "Good. Payback's a bitch, ain't it?" Picking up his backpack, he headed for the door. "Thanks for the timely rescue, you two. I'll see you later. I've got office hours, now."

"Will you be OK? Those guys won't be coming back, will they?" Joel asked.

"I doubt it. They're pretty much your typical bullies. Strength through numbers. I'll be just fine. Thanks."

"If you're sure. See you later."

His office hours were nearly over. He hadn't had a visitor in nearly twenty minutes. He was just about to close up, when the door opened and the four jocks came back in. He didn't need his partner's enhanced senses to know that the four had been drinking, not to mention smoking illegal substances. Sighing, he stood up, careful to keep his desk between him and the four of them.

"We're back to finish our little talk, teach. You ready to listen to reason?" The same spokesman from earlier asked.

"Sorry. I'm not going to disrespect the rest of my students by giving in to the likes of you."

"Well, your big fat cop ain't here to save you this time, teach." The four split up to circle the desk, trying to trap him.

With a sigh, Blair carefully drifted back, keeping all four of them within sight. He reached out and picked up a paperweight as he left the area near the desk. Rotating the heavy shot-filled leather bag in his hand, getting the balance of it, waiting, ready. The biggest one faked a move at him, he recognized the maneuver and turned the other way, where the two on that side came in for real. He quickly raised his arm, with the heavy paperweight and flung it as hard as he could at the larger of the two men. The five pounds of lead-filled leather hit the larger one in the face with a meaty thwack, breaking the young man's nose, causing a veritable fountain of blood to spurt out. He then followed through by intercepting the attack of the other one as the student swung a fist at him. He caught the swinging fist with one hand, reaching out with the other to grab the wrist, spinning with the man's movement, gently guiding the fist, then changing direction a bit and bringing his attacker's arm into a classic 'come along' hold. Jim had made him practice this particular move until he could do it in his sleep, it seemed. This was the first time he had actually tried it for real. Practice had always been done in slow motion, teaching his body to do it automatically. Reality revealed only one small problem. When he lifted his hands to reinforce his hold, the tension on the student's shoulder, combined with his loss of balance, resulted in the young man's falling, and Blair, not knowing any better, failed to let go, resulting in a dislocated shoulder and badly wrenched elbow for his attacker. The injured students both started screaming from the pain.

Blair, realizing that the one he had tried his newly learned Aikido skills on was hurt, let go, spinning back to face his other two assailants. Good thing he did. They were both coming at him, reaching out to grab. He did the only thing he could think of. He ducked. The sudden crouching down was not what the pair had expected. They tripped over him, flying head-first into the bookshelves behind the desk. Blair cringed at the sounds of splintering shelves, and breaking bones. When he stood back up, his second pair of students were rolling on the floor, one clutching an obviously broken wrist, the other a broken arm. He stood there, staring at the results. He heard people clapping. Turning, still in shock, he saw, standing in the doorway, his partner and their captain. Gently clapping in praise. They had obviously seen most of what had happened.

"Uh, hi, guys." Blair said softly, blushing furiously. He was surprised, he wasn't even out of breath. Looking down at the four injured students, he raised shocked, confused eyes to his friends. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone." He complained.

"We saw them attack you, Sandburg. You did a fine job. Obviously, that self-defense course I sent you to did what it was supposed to." Simon seemed pleased.

"Uh, I didn't go to that class, Simon. I went to the first class, and it was awful. I hated it." Seeing the expression on the captain's face he hurried on to explain. "They were always yelling at me. I couldn't seem to do anything right. When I got home, I was so sore and frustrated, that Jim told me to forget it, and he would teach me. That's what that was." He turned his eyes to his partner. "You didn't tell me that Aikido stuff could be used to hurt people, man." His tone a bit accusatory.

"You didn't let go, Chief. If you had, he might have hit his head, but his arm would be OK. You did fine. I liked the ducking move, there at the end. That's what self-defense is all about, getting out of the way. You did everything right." He moved closer to his friend, patting him gently on the shoulder. "How about you read 'em their rights while I call for the medics?"

The upshot of the entire incident was four students charged with assaulting a police officer. Blair didn't want to press charges, but his friends wouldn't allow him not to. The students were lucky, they were given probation. Their injuries prevented them from playing any sports for the rest of the season, so they had no other choice than to buckle down and do their school work. The four students were very careful to avoid the subject of what had happened to them. It was too embarrassing to have to admit that their much smaller teacher had foiled their attack and they had been hurt as a result of their own actions. They even kept quiet about the fact that their teacher was a cop on the side. Not that they really believed it. It had just been easier to plead guilty and get the probation than go to court and admit that the smaller man had taken them all on and won. Without a single scratch or bruise of his own.

Of course, keeping quiet didn't help them when the rumors came out with the truth. Most people knew he worked with the cops, something to do with his Doctoral thesis, but no one yet knew that he'd actually been put on the payroll. Blair certainly wasn't going to advertise his new status. And by the time the semester ended for the Summer, it had pretty much been forgotten.

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